Kiefer Sutherland can’t seem to escape Jack Bauer. Though he last retired the character in 2014 for a revival of “24,” the character just does not want to die. And as Sutherland found out on the latest “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver,” it followed him to a most unusual place: a medicine bottle.

For the main story segment on “Last Week Tonight” Sunday, John Oliver took on the topic of compounding pharmacies, which will mix specialty, custom medications for patients in need.

But naturally, there’s a lack of oversight and regulations among these pharmacies, including some that are mass producing medication when they shouldn’t be. One pharmacy got caught in the act when they used celebrity names to pad out the number of patients.

Among them were: David Schwimmer, Jimmy Kimmel, Ru Paul, Michael Bolton, Method Man, Sarah Marshall (as in Kristen Bell’s famous old character. You didn’t “forget” did you?) and of course, Jack Bauer. So Oliver got all of the above to speak out against these practices, with Sutherland as Bauer throwing out a very specific demand. Because if you don’t:

“I will tie you up in a dark basement and in a black site in Southern Turkmenistan and I will inflict a level of pain on you you could not imagine in your darkest, most terrifying nightmares,” he screams.

Man, I miss that show.

Kimmel also jokes that Oliver should really stop winning Emmys at this point, and Bolton reveals that “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” is about a “lady parrot.” Though you’ll have to watch the full clip above for that one to make any sense at all.

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